I dare not ask, for fear that the outcome will be saddening.

Yet I asked, well, it is not so bad after all. Eventhough rejection is inevitable, the thing is, don't carry high hopes.

I don't want them to ask, yet they keep bugging me.

I don't like people to force me to see something, they see as important, as important, when I do not think it is really THAT important after all.

Sometimes in life, we have to give and take. Treasure and show appreciation for what you have and think less of what you cannot get. To be satisfied is the key.

On second thoughts, I am eternally grateful to have wonderful friends, who stick with me through thick and thin; who always find their way to me, despite me being so busy and unable to attend to all the small things in life.

I thank you, so very much, for being part of my life. No, I'm not going to die, just suddenly got an urge to say this. >-<''

Oh! $%&#$@~* I SO ought to concentrate on getting my studies straight.

Something seems to be troubling me of late, and it has become a constant pain in the ass neck. However, I can't seem to identify the problem. I suppose I need to sit down and do more reflections and soul-searching.

Saying 'NO' isn't really that hard, after I have decided what I really wanted. I guess. But it really lifted a big chunk of load of my chest (not that it was that heavy in the first place *rolls eyes at the pun*). I don't want to out-do Dear in her busy-ness index ><'' it is not a glorious "achievement", so to speak. We've talked about this before, yea.

Oh yar, the question, which 2 (un)lucky persons? I have 1 more week to go source for them. My my, my birthday's drawing so near. I guess 2 weeks doesn't make one feel 21 instantly.

Oh, I miss her so much! Though I only left her a few hours ago. =S
Maybe, I should just go home. Some thing's missing.

to keep my cool.
to have an more open view.
to give others more chance.
to let go.
to be happier.
to be have less mood-swings at night.
to be more composed.
to not to let others hurt me, and at the same time, bite them back.
to keep to myself more.

In out, up down, left right. Non-stop!

Haha. So busy.. busy busy..

But I'm pretty tired of waiting and not knowing when it'll strike me. Sighs.

I worked as a breathe-right brand ambassador for the past 3 days, at Vivo City’s Guardian. It was a pretty interesting experience. Though this part-time job took up a lot of preparation time, I feel it is quite a good learning opportunity.

Firstly, I had to dress up as an angel/fairy sort of character, and act like how the character would to promote the product. It’s basically an all-white outfit with some props, I don’t have a picture of myself, but I have one with my sister wearing the props…


Being in costume, I attracted loads of attention, from adults and kids alike, teenagers even. Kids will wave/point at me or look at me shyly, adults will ask their children to see the fairy or smile at me, and teenagers usually give weird stares and sniggers. Well, I’m just doing my job. This is the first time I turned so many heads, felt a little weird on the first day, but got used to it on subsequent days.

Apart from getting people to sample the strips to increase product awareness, I had to push some sales too, something I had never really done when I did my other moonlighting. I thought my sales wasn’t really good, as I sold an average of 30 packs per day, but when I went back to the agency today, the lady told me that there were BAs that sold only 5. I was quite relieved that I didn’t do too badly after all. The record holder was this wizard (guy) who was stationed in Tampines Mall, he sold 60 a day. PRO! I guess there are more parents with kids there, since the general crowd in Tampines Mall is families and the people there are pretty well-off too. He must be an aunty-killer too. Haha, the location of the store is very important.

I’ve met with many interesting occurrences just within these 3 days, even more that all the previous times put together. One is that I had many people snapping photos of me, be it for record sake, as in people from GSK and the agency, or with little girls, and even random people from across the open area in front of me. I was standing at the shop front of Guardian, where there was maximum traffic and in full view of everyone. Then, there was the ECCO mascot with his partner, this couple is very cute, for the 3 days, they keep coming to visit me, since they’re mobile and go around distributing balloons.

I received praises too, there was this lady I served, and she thanked me and told me that I was really helpful and nice, just like a gentle little angel. Haha. It felt very good. (^-^’’) I met a few people that I know from hall too; it was quite embarrassing to face them. Worst/Best of all, I noticed this lady from the corner of my eye for some time, she looked really familiar, but I can’t quite put a name to her face. But when she approached me with her daughter, it struck me that she is DR Seow’s wife! LOL. She also found me very familiar; her daughter was also telling her that I look familiar. Can’t help it, I was in makeup and there are so many residents in hall too.

Talk about familiar people, I saw this customer I thought I saw the day before. Then, when I thought about later, I realized that she’s one of the people living in my estate. Her face and her daughter struck a very deep impression on me, because I was observing her scold her daughter the other day on the LRT. (Talk about coincidences.)

The most eerie experience that I had was to be stalked by this weird uncle. He followed me EVERY where from 2-5pm on Sunday. I first noticed his presence when I was talking to a bunch of little kids with their parents. I thought he was just some uncle that wants to listen too. He seemed harmless, doesn’t register in my system that he will be of any problem. It only occurred to me that he might have ill intentions when I was going out for lunch. As I was coming out of the storeroom, I heard someone ask: “Not being an angel anymore?” Thinking it’s just a colleague teasing me, I answered: “I’m going for lunch.” When I raised my head to see that it wasn’t a colleague, it was too late. He followed me while I walked out. I realized that only when I changed direction as I decided to eat something else. Managed to shake him off but when I returned, he was there again! OMG! He asked for samples and some advice this time, while I was serving other customers together. After that, I can feel him observing me from behind for quite some while. SCARY! Luckily Tim came to pick me up at the end of the day, else I won’t know if dare to go home alone not.

Other than this, working at Guardian was pretty pleasant. Though I was constantly standing alone at the shop front, trying to approach customers, the sales assistants and promoters from other brands do come out from time to time to check on me to ensure that I’m okay and feeling comfortable. We did chat a little when the crowd is lesser and it makes it all the more workable, since everyone is so nice etc…

I see if I can get some photos of me in action, from the agency. Then can post. Haha. :]

I feel inadequate. There should be some way to improve my current situation. Have to find some starting point.

This holidays is doing me no good at all. All that is happening manifests upon itself and gets worst by the day. *Escapes into busy-ness* Yet again, I choose to avoid it, I guess.

The reason why I blog so little? I asked myself before. And I know the answer very clearly, it's because I have ran out of happy things to write about. This bitterness is killing me. Yet I still have to keep a happy front when facing people. If I don't remember wrongly, a short while ago, someone asked me, why I have a blank face most of the time. The truth is, I'm trying my best not to sulk. Blank is better than black, right?

I'm too disappointing.

*lin

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